i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
