there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
