this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
