i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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