Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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