I'm really into asian looking animals
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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