Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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