The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
