Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
