Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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