i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
