one might say we're banned from that church
Say something about gay babies.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i out mim tonsoeep
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
