Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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