Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I need moral support for this bender
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
