Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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