yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
