I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
