I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
