I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize