Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
