the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
