I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
