Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
