PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
