I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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