So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You made out with two different species that night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
