Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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