Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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