i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
