Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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