im drinking this country out of the recession.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is wine microwaveable?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
