jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
