let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
