i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
