whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
