Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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