i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
