is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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