I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
