Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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