i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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