u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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