man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
His nipple licking is glorious
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