the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
