ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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