Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Found your dick twin last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
