I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
