I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
