he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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