bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
