he thought i was a dude.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
