Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
