shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So apparently I’m into choking now
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
