The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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