i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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