Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
