I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
