She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
