I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
zippers are such a cool invention
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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