i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
