Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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